Throne of Lies

Raising teenagers is one of the more challenging aspects of being a parent. Both Amy and I had our share of secrets we kept from our parents’ growing up. I am not sure why, but we were naive enough to believe that our kids shared everything with us. Even if they weren’t totally honest with us from time to time, we believed we were able to extract the truth from them through our parental superpowers.

Amy was particularly adept at catching any of the kids in lies. Her own experience as a teenager helped her sniff out the inconsistencies or common-sense flaws in some of their stories. For the most part, I believe we were very in tune with our kids’ lives. This illusion was shattered, however, when Morgan and Carson slipped one by us in high school.

Through an innocent conversation with a neighbor, we discovered Morgan and Carson had attended a drinking party the previous weekend and had lied to us about their activity. Amy was incensed at them for lying to us and was anxious to confront them.

In a rare occurrence, the boys were not together that night. Carson was at work at ShopKo and Morgan was out with one of his friends. Amy was upstairs finishing some chores when Morgan walked in the back door.

I quickly went up to him and whispered. “Hell is about to come down on you. My only advice to you is that honesty is the best policy, especially when we already know the truth.”

Confused, he asked me what I was talking about, but Amy had heard him come in the back door and had raced downstairs to begin her interrogation. We sat down in the living room and Amy asked him, “Where were you on Saturday night?”

I was sitting on the couch next to him and I could see the wheels turning in his head. He was making the calculation of whether he should stick to their original story or whether he should heed my quickly whispered advice. I am sure the phrase “when we already know the truth” weighed heavily into his decision to confess their whereabouts to minimize the damage and subsequent punishment.

Shortly thereafter, Carson returned home from work. Unfortunately, I did not have the opportunity to impart the same wisdom I had bestowed upon Morgan. He came into the living room and sat on the hearth. Amy’s body language made no secret that our current conversation with Morgan was not going well for his brother.

Amy calmly and simply asked him, “Where were you last Saturday night?”

Carson glanced at his brother for a clue as to whether he should stick to their story or whether to confess his whereabouts. Unfortunately, lacking my quick advice bestowed upon Morgan, Carson decided to stick to the concocted story they had previously told.

I have never seen Amy so enraged. She got up from her chair walked over to Carson, looked him in the eye, pointed a finger at his chest, and screamed, “YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES!!!”

The boys were doled out an appropriate punishment for their transgressions, but this incident and phrase became part of our family lore. You sit on a throne of lies has become a punch line for disbelief in any questionable story and often elicits smiles when we repeat Amy’s famous outburst.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of the kids regarding truth. I have found through my own experiences that telling lies (mostly to avoid awkward situations or difficult conversations) rarely pays off. The truth has a way of working its way to the surface and it is often more painful dealing with the repercussions of a small lie than just dealing with the original situation. These days, I rarely tell them. It is just not worth the embarrassment and loss of credibility of being caught in one.

Unfortunately, it seems our society has devolved into a never-ending series of lies and untruths. People no longer feel shame at telling them or even being caught in them. “Repeat a lie often enough, and people start to believe it” is the oft quoted statement these days. Confronting a lie is often viewed as not worth the emotional toil or hassle.

Morgan and Carson’s confrontation with their mother is a cautionary tale and a life lesson worth remembering. At some point, truth surfaces. It always does. Best not to be caught sitting on a throne of lies in your own life. Cheers.