No Regrets

My first goal for publishing My Joy Journey with Amy was to create a memorial to Amy for our family and friends. By gathering all the reflections from my blog and coalescing them into one physical book, I believed that I would immortalize Amy and her unwavering personal philosophy of joy in some way. I admit, a portion of that is selfish. I never want Amy’s legacy to her friends and family to fade from existence. I will forever love her and be grateful for her presence in my life. I am more than three and a half years removed from her passing, but I think of her each and every day. Most days, my eyes still mist up from love and our family’s loss. Publishing the book was partly cathartic, but also ensures our family will have a record of her joy, sense of humor, and ferocious love for family and friends.

A secondary goal, but no less important to me, was for the book to reach those who are grieving or struggling with a terminal diagnosis so they might find inspiration in Amy’s story for their own journeys. The book was self-published and faced enormous headwinds to being noticed in a crowded marketplace. I made sizable investments in promoting the book on social media, ad purchases on Amazon and Meta, email campaigns, influencer campaigns, and even a television appearance. In the end, none of these resulted in much traction.

It has been a frustrating process for me personally. I have rarely failed at anything I have ever set my mind to in life. Not because of talent or brilliance, but because in most cases, I am just too stubborn to accept failure. I will try and fail repeatedly until I accomplish my goal. It is that tenacity and perseverance that has propelled me to many successes in my life.

Now, I am falling short of spreading Amy’s message of joy. It is not about how many books that I sell. It is about her belief that joy is attainable if we just choose it. Even when confronted by a terminal diagnosis and all of the horrible procedures and treatments one must endure, she believed in choosing joy every single day. I believe this message can, and will, inspire those who hear it.

In today’s world, where the color of a dress can become an overnight internet sensation that sweeps the globe in a matter of days or weeks, it is frustrating to have a far more important message languishing because of my own inability to evangelize Amy’s legacy through My Joy Journey with Amy. Over the past year, I have come to realize that if I am going to be successful at this goal, it is not going to be a quick sensation, but a long slow march.

Thus, in January I set off in a new direction. Instead of trying to promote the sale of the book, I would get it into the hands of those going through grief for free. I reached out to a bereavement coordinator with the Hospice Alliance located in Wisconsin. This organization organizes grief support for families going through the loss of loved ones throughout the country through its membership of hospice organizations. I had included a complimentary copy of My Joy Journey with Amy along with a discussion guide. I asked for advice on how to reach other professionals in similar roles. My hope was for them to use it as a tool to help those going through this incredibly difficult journey.

The suggestion she offered was to repeat what I had done for her, sending a complimentary copy to the various grief support organizations around the country. I eagerly researched grief support groups and discovered that most of these groups are local in nature and encompass a variety of religious and nonprofit organizations. There is no repository of data on these groups, but fortunately, by using Google and various regional search criteria, I have been able to identify approximately 30 grief organizations per state. Over the last couple of months, I have begun mailing complimentary copies to each of these groups not knowing how they would be received or used.

In mid-February, one of the groups, the West Suburban Grief Coalition in Minneapolis reached out to me and asked me to share my story at one of their monthly meetings. Harley, their co-coordinator, indicated that he felt their group benefited the most from speakers with shared experiences as opposed to experts on grief. He felt our family’s story was compelling and thought it might be helpful to some of their members. After I hung up the phone, I shed a tear or two with the thought that maybe, just maybe, this approach might finally offer me the opportunity to help others on their grief journeys.

On April 9^th I addressed a group of approximately 50 to 60 individuals who have experienced the loss of a loved one. My presentation, Choosing Joy! recounted Amy’s diagnosis and her insistence on finding joy on her journey. I also shared several of the stories from the book (Operation Brassiere, Blue Balls, PolkaFest, Atlas, Embrace, and others). I stated that if Amy could find joy when facing a terminal diagnosis and the unpleasant treatments and procedures, I could also find joy in my life despite my ongoing grief of losing her. In conclusion, I indicated that I was confident that their loved ones would want the same for them as well.

Afterward, numerous individuals came up to me and provided positive feedback on my talk. I signed numerous books and gave them out in return for a donation of any size to the American Cancer Society or Ice Age Trail Alliance. Shortly afterward, another group in Minneapolis, the Southwest Grief Coalition, reached out to me and put me on their schedule for a similar talk on May 4^th.

Like the first talk, numerous individuals came up to me to get a copy of the book for a donation of any size. I quickly determined that the individuals wanted me to reference their lost loved one when I signed the book. I changed my normal words of encouragement regarding Amy by inserting their loved one’s name instead. For example,

“May Susan’s life inspire you to choose joy every day!”

As each individual came up to me, they offered their name and the name of their loved one.

I am unsure what impact addressing these groups will have, but I must have faith that I am accomplishing some good. In the coming months, I will continue to forge ahead with this approach to see where it leads me and My Joy Journey with Amy. I have no regrets. Just joy that maybe I am finally having even the smallest success helping others navigate this difficult journey. Peace and love my friends.