Softened

As a sales professional, you always walk a fine line between being an advocate for your client and ensuring that your own staff is not taken advantage of in negotiations. The best way to accomplish this task is to write a Statement of Work that not only defines the goals and tasks to be undertaken on a client’s behalf, but to clearly state the tasks to be performed by the client and call out what services are not included.

It was an art form to not only accomplish this in the written document, but to also make sure the client understood the distinctions before a project began. Years ago in a meeting with my boss, I had a disagreement with him about one of these agreements.

I had written a Statement of Work for a client that designated certain tasks to the client’s internal resources. In reviewing the project, I had made a point to clearly communicate to the client that they would be responsible for these tasks and that our team could not start the project until they completed their assigned tasks.

When our team arrived to implement the project, they found these tasks had not been completed. Our team, as always, was eager to please, and jumped in to complete them so as not to push the project timetable out further.

When they received a bill for the additional time, they objected. My discussion with the client did not go well as I was adamant that I had clearly communicated this to them, and it was also clearly stated in the written document.

They escalated the disagreement to my boss and he and I subsequently argued about the wisdom of holding them to our agreement. He told me, “Mark, you have a reputation as a hard man, but sometimes it just isn’t worth the argument even when you’re right”

That conversation stayed with me for years. I always knew I stuck to my principles, but I had no idea, people thought of me as hard. I shared my thoughts on this incident with Amy once and she just smiled and said, “You come across that way, but those of us who truly know you; know the truth.”

As I reflect on my life, I realize that I can come across as a hard person. Part of my upbringing taught me to protect myself physically and mentally. Those attributes were accentuated when I became a father and became even more protective of my family. Amy was always my voice of reason to either let a slight go or to use it as a learning experience for either myself or for the kids’ own experiences.

I have found that loss has also softened me. Until the death of Amy and my parents, I never realized how fleeting happiness and life can truly be. I appreciate those in my life and love them even more. There is also a special place in my heart for those that have gone out of their way to check-in on me and include me in their plans.

These days I tend to ponder how people are impacted by events in their lives and wonder if I am doing enough to help them. The challenge is to turn those thoughts into action. I regret I am a slow learner, but it is never too late to do better.