Signs

Several weeks ago, I fell while hiking the Loewe Lake segment of the Ice Age Trail. It is only the second time I have fallen hiking with the first being the infamous Death Hollow incident in Utah. At the time, I thought nothing of it as I got a little dirty but continued for another nine miles to finish my trek.

On my hike the next day, however, I felt a little soreness in my left knee. Rain kept me off the trails for two days after that and Claire suggested I take an even longer rest for a couple of weeks.

With the Grand Canyon trip looming on the horizon, I was reticent to skip any of my training. The soreness persisted, however, when I went out on my next hike. Given that I have put over 2,000 miles on these knees the last couple of years, I decided Claire was probably right and that I could afford a little time off.

Unfortunately, the following Saturday, I planted my left foot and heard and felt the dreaded snap in my knee. I stewed for about a half hour before swallowing my pride and called Claire. She recommended we go to an orthopedic walk-in clinic and get it assessed. Although not an orthopedic doctor, those years of training in Physical Therapy helped her pinpoint it as a torn meniscus, exactly what the doctor eventually diagnosed.

The MRI revealed that it was a complete tear, and it is too far from the root for them to surgically repair. This means I have to learn to live with this until such time as arthritis develops and I become eligible for a knee replacement. Since I could do no further damage to the knee, I no longer had any restrictions on my activity as long as I could tolerate the pain and soreness.

I cancelled my trip to the Grand Canyon shortly after the injury occurred. I figured that I would not be able to train properly. Although I lost the Grand Canyon, I now had the green light for my upcoming trip to Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore with my cousins Mike and Paul.

Claire fitted me with a proper knee brace for extra support, and I hit the trail again to make sure I would be in good enough shape to complete the roughly 34 mile trek we had planned. My first trip with a training weight of 25 pounds went fairly well. The pace was a couple of minutes slower than normal for me, but I chalked that up being somewhat cautious on my first hike.

A couple of days later, I tried again. This time I tried for a more normal pace. The first couple of miles frustrated me as I had a pronounced limp. It loosened up somewhat on miles three and four, but I had to slow down to avoid limping. As I grew more and more frustrated with my circumstances, my mental state began to darken. Was this injury going to restrict my ability to train for hikes or participate in other activities that I have grown to love, such as pickleball and curling?

As I was cursing my luck, a cardinal flew over my head and landed on a branch about 20 feet in front of me. Cardinals are notorious in the Gawron family for showing up to peck on windows or show up at the bird feeder at times Amy and Mary would be missing their parents or brother. They always joked it was Frank, Judy, or Mark coming to say hello and offer them encouragement.

Since Amy’s passing, I often see cardinals in the woods or at the bird feeder when I am missing her the most. I like to imagine it is her way of saying hello and telling me to buck up.

I stopped and watched the cardinal for a couple of minutes and felt myself take the mental equivalent of a deep breath. The cardinal eyed me as I stood in the middle of the path watching her for several minutes.

When I began to walk again, it flew another 20 feet down the path and stopped on another branch over the path and continued to watch me. When I got close again, it duplicated its flight. This pattern repeated for about a quarter mile before it finally took flight deeper into the woods.

Throughout my life I have been a skeptic when it comes to finding deep meaning in mundane everyday moments or as some call it, fate. Amy and I always had a bit of a back and forth about our meeting. She believed it was fate. I always teased her it just happened, and I could have fallen in love with anyone who had been assigned her seat at our training class. She would always smile and tell me I was wrong.

As time passes, I find myself wanting to believe Amy can still reach out to me through the chaos of the cosmos through these little signs. Like the Key Lime Pie in Colorado, I want to believe that the cardinal was offering me encouragement to keep forging ahead and to not lose heart.

The next day, I made a stop at Kopp’s to pick up some custard for my friends Dave and Carol who have had a rough few weeks. As I drove up to Kopp’s, I noticed the flavor of the day was Red Raspberry. It was Amy’s all-time hands down favorite flavor. Of course, I purchased a couple of pints. When I showed up at Dave and Carol’s door, Dave whispered to me that it was Carol’s birthday.

As I greeted Carol with birthday wishes, I told her that Red Raspberry custard was Amy’s favorite. Carol responded, “It must be Amy wishing me a Happy Birthday.”

I blinked and smiled. Who am I to doubt life’s little signs.

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After I completed this Reflection, I started to wonder about all of you and what little signs you may have experienced. It then occurred to me that I would very much like to make My Joy Journey of Hope a tad more interactive. It would be awesome if you could share your thoughts from time to time on my Reflections or share related stories from your own lives. Please use the comments section below or email me directly at hikerdude.1919@gmail.com Also, please state Public or  Private to indicate your preference of whether you want other readers to see your comments. Cheers.