Pickleball

A couple of months after Amy passed, my brother Chuck and his wife Doris invited me to join them on their annual pilgrimage away from the harsh Wisconsin winter. That year, they had chosen to spend time in South Padre Island as their normal destination, Fort Meyers Beach, had been wiped out by Hurricane Ian.

I felt it would be a good idea for me to just take a break and have a change of scenery. I packed and loaded the car. On the morning of January 15, 2023, I pointed my car south, set the cruise control, and settled in for the long drive to Texas.

Two days later I arrived and was anxious to explore South Padre Island. I walked the beach a couple of mornings to get my hikes in, but I found their beach far inferior to the powdery quartz sand I have grown accustomed to in Siesta Key.

One night, Chuck indicated that we were going to go play pickleball the next morning. I scoffed at him. Like everyone, I knew pickleball was sweeping the nation, particularly for retirees. I teased him that only old people played, and I wasn’t ready to concede I was that old yet.

Nevertheless, he convinced me to join him the next morning to give it a try. We embarked just before 9:00 AM for the two courts near their rental unit. He gave me a brief overview of how the game was played and the all-important social etiquette that went with open play.

From his description, it sounded like a cross between tennis and ping pong. We put our paddles in a stack and waited for our turn to play. Once on the court, I determined it was much closer to ping pong except on a much larger table. Spinning the ball is much easier than in tennis and I quickly realized that the same principles applied (if a ball is hit to you with spin, keep the spin going in the same direction when you strike it otherwise it will die off your paddle).

I immediately fell in love with the game. Partly because I found much of my experience playing table tennis as a teenager translated to pickleball, but also because I seemed to be pretty good at it.

In addition, I enjoyed the social aspect of the game. For doubles, you are constantly playing with new partners regardless of their skill level. Proper etiquette requires that you compliment good shots by teammates and opponents alike and build up the confidence of your teammates. While waiting between games, it is expected that you interact with the other players and get to know them.

When I returned to Wisconsin, I bought my own paddle and began playing in our local rec program throughout the different seasons. In addition to my hiking, it kept me extremely active. An added benefit was that by the end of the day, I was typically exhausted, which helped with my sleep issues.

When winter arrived again, I moved indoors and continued to meet more and more people during my play. Sometimes, I even played twice in a day. When I tore my meniscus, I worried more about missing pickleball than my hiking!

Pickleball has helped me in my grief journey. Not only as a distraction, but through the kindness shown to me by my fellow players. One-night, the summer after Amy passed, I was having a particularly bad day and struggling with my emotions. I went to play pickleball anyway. When I entered my first game, my partner for the game, Susan, asked me how my day was going. Even though I replied “good” she must have seen something in my expression that gave her pause. She walked up to me and said “Really?”

I then confessed I was having a hard day and was missing Amy. She proceeded to give me a hug before we took our places for the game and the night went on.

Last week, I turned 60. Our family celebrated with a nice barbeque, but per my request, we kept it pretty low key. A couple of days later, when I showed up for my regular Monday night Pickleball, I was met by my fellow players with cupcakes and mini margaritas to celebrate. I was touched by their kindness.

As I drifted off to sleep that night, I felt deep gratitude for the game of pickleball and my newfound pickleball friends. They have had a positive impact on me. I only hope I can repay their kindness.