It’s a Wonderful Life

I attended the University of Minnesota back in the early 1980’s. For those of you not familiar with the geography of the campus, the main campus is divided by the Mississippi River into two distinct areas, the East Bank and West Bank.

The East Bank contains the original campus which houses the mathematics, architecture, engineering, and music departments. The West Bank houses the Carlson School of Management, the social sciences, and the Law School. The East and West Banks are connected via a walkway built on top of Washington Avenue and crosses the river. During the winter, this 10-minute walk can be brutal when the temperatures drop below 10 degrees, especially if there is even the slightest wind.

My sophomore year, I had a late final exam just before the Christmas break. Campus was already deserted except for those of us who had drawn the short straw with a late final slot. A group of us stragglers agreed to meet after exams and go to a screening of It’s a Wonderful Life at the campus movie theater located on the West Bank. We walked across the bridge from the dorms on the East Bank to the theater.

The audience for the showing was raucous and a little wound up after their last finals. There were many humorous catcalls and comments during the playing of the movie. Everyone was in a jolly mood after the show as we headed back to the dorm. As we began our trek back, giant snowflakes drifted down on us as we walked over the Mississippi River. It was a magical moment that I remember fondly.

Today, I was reminiscing about that special walk as I wrapped my first Christmas gift and played my holiday playlist. It got me thinking about my many blessings. One of my most valued is my friend Joe and his wife Jackie. I am not sure how I would have navigated the first couple of years since losing Amy without them.

Joe and I go back to my first years in Milwaukee back in the early 1990’s. He was my boss for a brief time when I joined a local construction company. Although he left for another opportunity soon afterward, our families got to know each other and Amy and I even became godparents to one of his children. We spent many a late night with the kids sleeping on the couch or floor while we played cards or board games late into the night.

I remember with great sadness when I got the call from Joe that their family was relocating to Florida for a career opportunity and to get away from the harsh Wisconsin winter. We were able to maintain our friendship through our fantasy baseball league and some trying times before he remarried to his soul mate, Jackie.

Our own economic hardship kept me from that blessed event in Florida, but fate brought them back to Milwaukee where we reconnected. Jackie and Amy hit it off almost immediately and became besties through poignant, thoughtful, and entertaining conversations as well as a shared love of wine.

We made annual pilgrimages together to warmer climates in the colder months. Whether it was a trip to the Mexican Riviera, their condo near Siesta Key, or Key West, we always looked forward to our excursions with them.

When Amy was first diagnosed with cancer, Joe was the first person to whom I confided the seriousness of her prognosis.

A few months later, he shared with me that Jackie and he had decided to sell their home in Shorewood while the market was on the upswing. After their house sold, they began looking for an apartment to live in temporarily until they decided where they wanted to live next.

Before I knew it, Joe and Jackie had moved into an apartment just two minutes from our house.

Joe and Jackie were companions on our journey always making sure we could still find our sense of humor and joy despite the unpleasantness of her treatments. They offered us their wisdom from their own journey with one of their own family members and were instrumental in keeping us both joyful and hopeful as Amy’s struggle progressed month after month.

After Amy passed, Joe whispered to me at her Celebration of Life, “You’re going to be seeing a lot of me.”

Joe was true to his word. Over the next year, Joe and Jackie were a constant presence in my life, inviting me over for holiday dinners, joining me for walks, playing pickleball, or grabbing beers at local watering holes.

Although I was focused on my own grief journey, I realized that their grief was just as real and difficult as mine. They too had experienced the profound loss of someone who was a special part of their lives. I imagine living so close to me made processing Amy’s loss even more difficult.

Words will never convey the honor and debt I feel to both Joe and Jackie for their unwavering support and love during those dark days and months.

As everyone watches It’s a Wonderful Life this holiday season, remember the outpouring of love for George Bailey from his neighbors and friends. As those snowflakes fall ushering in the advent of winter, remember to be thankful for those you love and who love you. Show them how much they mean to you. Merry Christmas.